Penchant Lama Reveals Top 6 Interview Tips

Greensboro, NC

After securing a serving position at McDonald’s and subsequently being promoted to lead greeter, Penchant Lama has released his top 6 interview tips. Penchant Lama would like to credit his mother on Mimjellia, Mama Lama, for a few of these tips.
(Note: Penchant offers no advice for how to keep a job; in fact, he was fired from his five previous jobs.)

1. Don't eat because of your nerves or gorge yourself prior to your interview because you might stink up the place.

2. If you don’t know the answer, say, “I’m not comfortable with that question.” For example, if the interviewer asks, “do you have any previous experience in the food industry,” simply say, “I’m not comfortable with that question.”

3. Wear your church clothes on your interview, even if you don’t go to church.

4. Instead of focusing on your answers during the interview, be thinking of a compliment you can give the person interviewing you. You can give anyone a compliment, even if they are as ugly as a dog! People love compliments, and the right one will land you the job.

5. Embrace at the end of your interview, and say, “Thanks for your time, energy, and effort.” TE2…That TE squared.

6. Instead of a resume, bring an original piece of art for the house of the person
interviewing you. College posters with profanity and not a good idea.

Penchant expects to be contacted by Stephen Covey with a "career tips" book project collaboration request in the near future. Penchant says he will offer Mr. Covery 5%of the profits for his name recognition power. Penchant will take 95% for directing the content.

Posted by: Penchant Lama, Inc.

Read Tinkering to learn about Penchant's arrival and his first adventure in America!

-TsungChi

Clinton forgoes visit to local Greensboro, NC college, citing fear of "Licorice Whips"

Greensboro, NC

Former president Bill Clinton altered the site of his Greensboro, NC rally yesterday amid reports that Penchant Lama was planning to "licorice whip" him.

Clinton, who was scheduled to conduct a democratic rally for his wife Hillary's presidential nomination bid at a local private college, learned of the news yesterday afternoon and moved his rally to the local YMCA.

Penchant Lama, who has dabbled as the second assistant cheerleading coach at the same college Clinton had planned to speak at, recently perfected the "licorice whip," which he learned from Koach Krafty. Krafty developed the whip--which is the act of slapping an opponent across the forearms with extra long Red Vines licorice strands--as a tool in his tennis teaching arsenal.

Read Tinkering to learn about Penchant's arrival and his first adventure in America!

-TsungChi

Penchant practiced the "licorice whip" at his job at the local McDonalds. Each customer that ordered a meat product, which is approximately 94.4% of the customers, (Penchant Lama is a vegetarian) earned a licorice whip across the wrist from Penchant. After whipping 87 customers in a row Penchant was promoted to the postion of "greeter." Management commented on the promotion and released this statement to the public. "We are sorry to those that Penchant whipped, he has been reprimanded and moved to a more suitable job discription. Future meat ordering customers will not be harmed."

Penchant planned to rush the stage at the rally and "licorice whip" Clinton in the ankle. But, prior to the rally, he bragged about his plan to his close friend Stingy Guru, who is one of the leading financial supporters of Senator Clinton's campaign. Stingy immediately contacted the authories and warned his close friend and yoga student, Bill.

Penchant Lama is a stauch supporter of Senator Obama and his bid for the presidential nomination. He had planned to donate a portion ($100.00) of his penny stock fortune to the Obama campaign, but he lost it investing with CNN money man Jim Cramer.

Posted by: Penchant Lama, Inc.

Penchant smiles for 412 seconds, earns job at McDonald's

Greensboro, NC

Penchant Lama has secured a job at the local McDonald's, which is looking to hire smiling faces. Penchant spotted the advertising sign late yesterday afternoon and prepared for his interview in a video shot at the restaurant.

Watch Penchant prepare for his interview.

Penchant then entered the store, smiled at the manager, and immediately was offered a job. He begins on Monday morning.

"It's a job I really think I can excel at," Penchant explained as he stood in front of a smiling mouth painted on the window of the restaurant. "I think I can replicate this mouth and tongue for the customers."

Most people looking to secure employment at McDonald's need to complete an on-line application. But Penchant got the job by smiling for 412 consecutive seconds.

It will be the fifth job for Penchant in five months. He's worked at Krispy Kreme, at a bread shop, at a local college coaching cheerleading, and for Depra the Trashman. He was fired from his first three jobs because he rarely showed up for work and expected to be promoted to a management position after the first day of work. He still does seasonal tinkering for Depra.


Posted by: Penchant Lama, Inc.

Read Tinkering to learn about Penchant's arrival and his first adventure in America!

-TsungChi

Koach Krafty teaches Stingy Guru the value of living in America with INS gag

Greensboro, NC

Koach Krafty lured Stingy Guru—on Stingy’s birthday—to Immigration and Naturalization Service today with a phony letter threatening deportation and the death of his family and friends, only to surprise Stingy with pizza and a lesson about the joy of living in America.

Stingy, an Indian yoga master who lives with Princess Mu in Washington, DC on a special Visa, arrived at INS at 5:00am this morning for what he expected to be the beginning of his deportation back to Kashpaya, India.

“Stingy was held in a big pen like a dog with the other illegal aliens,” Penchant explained. “They keep them all in there like dogs!”

After crying like a baby for several hours, Penchant and Krafty arrived at his cell with a pepperoni pizza. It turns out Krafty bribed his friends at INS to hold Stingy without food.

“Krafty said he needed to teach Stingy a lesson about how great it is to live in America,” Penchant explained. “Now, this would be a really good trick to play on someone who you knew lived in America without the proper paperwork.”

Read Tinkering to learn about Penchant's arrival and his first adventure in America!

-TsungChi

Koach Krafty close to signing deal with Roddick

Greensboro, NC

Legendary tennis guru Koach Krafty is close to signing a deal to be the next coach of Andy Roddick, according to Penchant Lama, Krafty’s best friend and financial agent.

The deal, expected to be finalized next week, will pay Krafty only if Roddick wins one of the three remaining majors. If so, Krafty will receive either $500,000 or a new Outlaw Winnebago (Krafty’s 1978 CN0847C1 Jamboree is in the shop for repairs) should Roddick win any of the year’s remaining majors.

“Roddick’s got no diversity in his game, and Krafty’s running low on money and his Winnie is a piece of crap,” Penchant Lama explained.

The deal does not specify how much Penchant will receive as Krafty’s agent.

Roddick recently parted ways with Jimmy Connors and is looking for a coach who can provide him the all-court game he needs to compete with Roger Federer and the game’s rising young stars.

Krafty has never coached a world class player, but he is regarded as the top mental coach in all of sport. Krafty also can drink 15 Mountain Dews in six hours and is the 31-time World Drop-In Champion. Drop-In is a game Krafty developed in 1976. The championship is held in Greensboro each year, is played on only half the court, is by invitation only, and is considered by Krafty to the game’s fifth major. Last year’s field included just four players. Krafty, at age 61, was the youngest by 11 years.

Krafty is known for encouraging his players to serve underhand and to use varying slices and spins to keep opponents off balance. He also is known for barking at his player’s opponent during matches from his courtside beach chair. He currently is negotiating with French Open, Wimbledon and US Open tournament officials for the right to sit courtside during Roddick’s matches.

Krafty, whose slogan is “Eat it Down,” competed on the pro tour from 1973-1975. His record as a pro was 12-31 with one victory over Jimmy Connors. Roddick has one major victory to his credit, the 2003 US Open. He was not available for comment on the deal, but AP tour officials reported that Krafty was in Dubai as Roddick won his second tournament in three weeks.


Read Tinkering to learn about Penchant's arrival and his first adventure in America!

-TsungChi

On-Line Book Series Launches, Website Crashes!

Penchant Lama today officially launched his online, contemporary adventure book series, The Books of Penchant. At approximately 10:30 am all 336 of Penchant's Facebook friends flooded the site, causing it to crash.

"It's wasn't unexpected," Penchant said. "I'm the most popular Mimjellian on Facebook."

Fortunately, the site is now up and running and book sales on day one are strong. Koach Krafty bought 20 copies for his close friends in Greensboro. Even Stingy Guru, the cheapest yoga guru around, bought a copy.

"He had to buy one Penchant," explained. "He's a star character."

"Tinkering" has sold 41 copies in three hours.


Posted by: Penchant Lama, Inc.