Penchant's Birthday Blog

Penchant's celebrates his third year in America today with a Halloween birthday blowout. Penchant arrived in America from Mimjellia just over three years ago, and has declared October his official Birthday Month.

We offer the exclusive coverage:

2:14am: Stingy wakes from his Love Sac, shuffles to the kitched, eat his 11th taco, drinks a gallon of orange juice, then passes out on the floor.

2:19am: Penchant comes downstairs to search for birthday presents; he doesn't find any.

2:32am: Krafty drives to Deep's shack to check on the Invalid, Margeaux. She is sleeping with her daughter Tyrice in her outside tummy.

7:15am: Big Weight wakes up in Wilmington with heartburn and a bleeding butt. He ate raw bacon the night before; hmmm? Still, he drives to Greensboro, making the trip in one hour and 39 minutes.

8:21am: Big Weight stops for a bacon and eggs breakfast at Shoney's.

10:02am: Brunch at Naughty's. Big Weight eats a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit followed by six Excedrin; blood pressure falls to 101/62.

12:05pm: Penchant and Princess Mu make cupcakes for the party. Penchant calls Krafty for the official spelling of his "girlfriend" -- tells him to tell her to bring him a good present.

3:07pm: Penchant's baby sister's Halloween parade. Penchant eats all of the children's Mickey Mouse shaped cheese as he performs a puppet show. Sophia does one lap in the parade in the time the other kids do three.

4:35pm: Naps. Big Weight sleeps in a separate room because, according to Penchant, he is laying out "big ones."

6:12pm: Trick or treating. Sophia, dressed as Penchant, goes first. When Penchant goes, he hears the same thing at every house: "You've already been here before!"

8:01pm: Penchant's Halloween party. Krafty brings the Invalid, dressed as his girlfriend "Margeaux." Penchant realizes she is an Invalid when he sees her outside tummy, which is filled with a baby Invalid; it was two for one day when TsungChi ordered.

9:15pm: Penchant begins training Margeaux. She crashes into several renegade trick or treaters who have been driven in from other neighborhoods. "I thought they stopped busing in Greensboro," comments Krafty, who supervises the training.

10:24pm: Penchant continues training in the garage. "It's safer in here," he explains. Margeaux repeatedly crashes into the wall; no one can fall asleep.

1:14pm: Big Weight and Stingy microwave a plate of bacon and eat it down!

2:14am: Penchant falls asleep on Sophia's pile of candy.

To read about Penchant's arrival in America and his first adventure, check out Tinkering, Book I of The Books of Penchant.

-Tsung Chi