Penchant shifts Birthday focus

Penchant Lama today shifted his birthday focus outward. Instead of creating exhaustive lists of presents and distributing them to his friends six months before his birthday (and threatening poop bombs for failure to comply), Penchant has decided to give presents on his birthday.

Penchant was inspired by Stillwater, the bear in Zen Shorts.

"Stillwater is a close friend of mine, a diplomat, and a dignitary. When I see a good practice, I adopt that practice as my own. Still, Stillwater could lose a few pounds. He really filled up that swimming pool in his book."

Penchant will begin accepting gift requests in September. His birthday is October. Yes, not a day in October: just, October. Penchant arrived in America in October of 2005. No one, including Princess Mu, whose yoga room Penchant crashed in to, knows the exact date of Penchant's arrival.

Penchant expects his friends to implement similar birthday policy. Yesterday he gave Koach Krafty (August 31 birthday) his birthday list. Select items: a new cape with the phrase "Eat it Down"; bubbles for his bath; and a Snuggie blanket .

To read about how Penchant arrived in America and his first adventure with Princess Mu and Stingy Guru, check out Tinkering today!

TsungChi

Koach Krafty to Retire from Coaching Tennis

Greensboro, NC -- Legendary Greensboro tennis professional Koach Krafty announced his retirement today through his spokesman, Penchant Lama. Krafty taught for 31 years on the hard court off of Pisgah Church and Willoughby Road. He averaged 13 hours of teaching a day, six days a week, for 31 years. 14 times he earned "Community Man of the Year" honors for his work with kids. Krafty rarely taught basic skills or fundamentals; mostly he worked with his clients on special spins and mental toughness. Krafty taught from a rusty lawn chair; he never used a racket to teach in all his time on the court.

Before teaching Krafty played professionally for six years. He never won on tour, but he did defeat Jimmmy Connors once and is the 31 time Greensboro "drop-in" champion. He coached Andy Roddick and Roger Federer in his last few years as a pro.

Krafty has retired to spend more time with his revolving door of girlfriends. He also is serving as a consultant for Penchant on his many business ventures.

"With the infusion of rather large men and unusually large women on the tours today, Krafty suspects the rampent use of performance enhancing drugs," Penchant said. "His slicing and intimidation techniques simply don't work for today's game of rotund, juieced, and beastly players. He will now focus his efforts on me, and more civilized sports such as gymnastics and dance."

-Tsung Chi